ok fine. i get really pissed off by people who dun the hell even know you but anyhow come to your guestbook and sprout nonsense. sorry, nette, but that's your guestbook the person's desecrating. writing the f word and calling me unoriginal and pathetic? i know i shouldn't be so worked up by those kind of wu liao people but wad to do? it's this kind of people that are truly pathetic. judgemental people like that wouldn't get far in life i tell you.

instead, i hope they wind up on the streets, begging for food and a chance at survival. may the sky rain toads on you, may your face be disfigured, may your life be one of misery and sorrow. may lightning strike you, may you fall down the stairs. may you never succeed in anything. may you live a pitiful existance. may your brains rot and the knowledge you've taken so long to learn whittle away. may your tongue be cut off, may your fingers be chopped off. acursed one!

there. haha. serves that crazy person right. i'm nice to nette. she's nice to me. so there!

that stupid newater trip! plus the thrift badge thingy, now i've got to change my piano to even earlier and now i cant even go out on thursday since my tuition teacher changed my tuition to thursday, but i guessed that's really nice of her since she's thinking of the fact that i've got a history test on thursday... cant wait for thursday. know why? coz then all the tests for this week will be over! yay!!!!!

hmm, i'll just like to rant some stuff that happened today. woke up at 3 in the morning and i realised that i couldn't breathe, and each breathe i drew was really pain, and the throat passageway seemed blocked. and then, i opened my mouth and tried to croak out something. nothing came out. and i was wheezing. hence, astmatic cough or whatever. so damn pissed lor. how ironical was it that i lost my voice in the wee hours of the morning of my english oral prelims?! and i wasnt even sick before! it was rather sudden. thank god that it came back. though it sounded a little lower and a little hoarse.

the whole oral thing was rather scary. or was it because i didn't have much faith in myself? i couldnt really answer the question well, or so i think. i say that only because i dun know what mrs. tian thinks. i really hope they give us our marks, thou i doubt that. especially since i described the picture very well. er, at least i think so. but i couldnt really pronouce "gesticulating".

well, i just have a few mins, make that just one minute to type out some stuff coz i wan to log off and go and watch joe millionaire. i know, i know, i shouldn't be watching tv, i should be studying chem. but the thing is, i dun care! i really dun seem so stressed this week, compared to last week i mean. and yesh, that is a nice show. truly worth watching. better than the bachelor at least. come on, since the girl he picked was the one i picked out in the beginning.

went to amazon.com to check out the book by ramsland katherine. it's an analysis of anne rice's vampire chronicles. at least she seemed to have written an analysis of the mayfair witches too, but who cares since i dun read that. the analysis covers books 1 to 5. including memnoch the devil. it's pretty good. i intend to go to kino and try to look for it there. if it's good, then i'll fork out the most prob 30++ bucks for it. i am not obsessed with the vampire chronicles. just in case u're wondering. coz i think i might be... since i've started reading the vampire armand. and it continued on. actually, i think I"M obsessed. since i'm going around and trying to find the interview with the vampire, a movie adapted by the book. or something like that. i watched it a while back, quite a while back, and i wasn't really into the whole thing. so now i'm trying to get the vcd.... tom cruise and brad pitt act in it... and i think the vcd might be hard to find, since the movie was produced in 1994.

You are Diet Coke with a twist of lemon. You are
crazy!!! You like doing strange things and you
laugh a lot. You probably hang out with people
who are either completely different to you or
you and all your friends turn up to school in
your pyjamas. You are very funny.


What type of coke are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

well, nette, was reading your blog and i felt...... sad. strange how your personality sorta radiates out and makes people feel your emotions at that point. or perhaps it's just me. but well, just to let you know that you can always count on me too!

i wonder how people view me in general? like, funny? depressed? or wad? if people see me as happy or the time, they better watch it. i swear there's something wrong with you. but then again, if everyone views me as violent, then. there's nothing i can say. you obviously didn't get the real me. me? i view myself as a puzzle. something i myself cant even figure out. advice from me is freely given, it just has to be asked. just like with help. i'm not the kind who would laugh at a person's fears as i have fears too. but yet, i feel as though i have to ask people to share their problems with me. y should i have to ask? dun they know that i care about them too? and y does sonya alway think that i'm depressed whenever i call her? of course, pillay, no offence. but i know why u get the feeling that i'm sad. i sound sad. hence...

it makes me feel appeaciated when people share things with me. it's not sheer curiousity. it goes further than that. i know that people might not want to share everything, but it makes me feel as if they dun trust me as much as i trust them with my problems. this thinking is rather screwed too since i know that some people just dun want to share, and i shouldn't harp on it. it's just how it makes me feel.

recieved an email from grace tan, (a church fren), and it was really...

it's in chinese, so forgive me since i've got to translate it since some ppl's computer cant have chinese words. it sounds so much better in chinese thou. XP (actually, i dun think i need this list to find out if i'm love with whoever.) but then again, it's just nice. no more comments

8 ways to find out if you're in love. (this is like for people who like someone but well, haven gotten together yet) otherwise, it just wouldn't apply

1. you keep your handphone on even when you're busy, just waiting for him to call. you're in love
2. you like walking with him alone, doing anything. you're in love
3.when you're with him, you'll look at him like you're not trying to. when he leaves your line of vision, you'll look for him. you're in love.
4. when he's sick or feeling unhappy, you'll feel care and concern for him. you're in love
5. when he's close to someone else, you'll feel jealous. you're in love
6. when he puts his face close to yours, and your heart starts beating fast, you're in love
7. when you see his smile, you'll smile too. you're in love
8. when you started reading this and thought about him, you're in love.

and well, for me? let's just leave it as... ...

getting really pissed off my quizzes that make my blog spacing go haywire.

just came back from enrolment, was rather tiring, i think i'll just log off soon and chill in my room. but it was quite a job well done. the games thou, good, but rather disgusting? i drank 4/5 of a disgusting mixture of milk, pepper, coffee, and what not to spare my patrol from drinking it. see, it was either to be splashed on us as forfeit or drink it. i know it's kinda stupid that i drank so much of it, but i rather me myself feel terrible than everyone feel sick. and i definately am not up to it being splashed on me.

er, after that, we wanted to go for a patrol outing but ended up staying in school with oriole patrol, chatting. like a combined patrol chat? wonder if there's such a thing. played bball with some of them, and sam's really good. and it was really one of those days that i truly enjoyed myself without much thought of the next tiring week ahead. and this enrolment made me really dread my farewell. with all the good frens i've made in guides, i dun wanna leave.

to leen, nope, not christine young. christine ong. sorry, if u thought i was someone else.

tomorrow's the sec 1s long awaited enrolment. well, jolene and mun yee were smsing me or calling me asking about how to wear the uniform, like where certain things should be put, and it just reminded me so much of myself when i was sec 1, i was so worried that i kept on calling sufie. makes me so nostalgic for the past, maybe not when i was sec 1, but my sec 2 life in guides. one of the best years. it's surprising how much guides has become intergrated in my life. to that extend i mean. hard to imagine life without guides. which is making me sad that i'll be leaving them soon

well, i wanted to change my template and everything, especially since i wanted to put in a really gorgeous new background of either yue or yuuto or dan radcliff, but see... well! obviously, i couldn't do it. if not, you'll be sure to see something new... but do you? of course not! heehee... dan's my neofren u know... i bet he had lotsa people asking yo be his neofren... but then again, dun know him... coz never tried to neomail him. coz i wouldn;t even know what to say.

now, let me address some issuessssss.... NETTE... this is your time to tell me something. anything. as in, something u think i'll find interesting. know i've said it many many times but u hafta tell me stuff. coz i tell u stuff, u know... like an exchange. or something.

other than that, i think i'll take up my pen, or rather start typing, the next chapter for my fic. it's been half a year i think or something! since i left my fic hanging. to tell u the truth, i have no idea how to end it or even continue it to the next chapter. maybe i should start a new story. but no plot leh...

many thanks to yue yiao, a very good coach... it's partly thanks to you i got 33 for my oral! 14 for convo, 9 for picture, 10 for reading, guess i've got to improve my picture description.

quite happy today lar in general. it would be so much better if they were people online to talk to me! but nah, no one's online now. studying i bet.

anyone know if clay aiken's a christian? coz i've found a few songs by him that are distinctly christian songs. more to life and go the distance... ths song lyrics are more to life. and i think it's really meaningful, coz i find it's true.

Today I watched in silence
As people passed me by
And I strained to see if there was something
Hidden in their eyes

But they all looked back at me as if to say,
"Life just goes on.."

The old familiar story
Told in different ways,
"Make the most of your own journey
From the cradle to the grave
Dream your dreams tomorrow
Because today
Life must go on.."

(chorus)
Oh, and there's more to this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
And there's more
Than this life alone for me

He takes care of his family
He takes care of his work
And every Sunday morning
He takes his place at the church
But sometimes he still feels the need to search
"Life just goes on.."

At night he lies in silence
Staring into space
Looks for ways to make tomorrow
Better than today
But in the morning light
He looks to say,
"Life must go on.."
(chorus)

Where do we start
To find every part
Of what makes this life complete?
If we turn our eyes
To Jesus we'll find
Life's true beginning
Is there at the cross
Where he died
Where he died

(chorus)

And there's more
To this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see

i think that everytime i go for worship... church youth service, i feel really close to God. and seriously, i can really feel His presence... and that's a really great feeling. most of the time, i forget what i have to do, like study like xiao for the next few days. the worships' powerful. and worth getting so early out of bed for. *smiles*

i much prefer this kind of worship to that of the adult one, where everyone's so solemn and stuff... no one jumping up and down and clapping and praising God. (after all, they are OLD people, meaning my parents). cant understand why i took so long to go back to the youth service. lazy going home myself i think. coz i really cant picture my parents enjoying themselves at the youth service even if it is open to everyone. not that they wouldn't really like it, but it's just that i dun think they'll be used to that kind of enegetic worship. they went once, and had to stand at the back since the band was way loud... wahahaha... old foggies... *laughs*

and i wonder why i'm not panicking and studying. something's wrong

feeling high. on what i do not know. you know, high *makes swirly motions at side of head* ... maybe it's coz of nette? was talking to her. it's a giddy feeling, but it's not bad. it really makes me want to jump up and down and scream, "peace, brothers!". ack. no, i'm not that high yet. but still, it's a good feeling, one i haven had in a while, of course looking at pictures of gorgeous yuuto, and yue and daniel radcliff and talking about ________ (you know who, my good frens) to nette could be a reason. all good looking really. gorgeous... pics.

*bouncy*

collating feedback forms are not fun. i know. so my sympathies to the moniters. i just had to spend 2 hours or so or less trying to go and do the feedback thingy. haiz. so boring. at least i didn't do urshering. and now i have to scan in the photos for something which i cannot say. now, the thing is that my scanner skills leave much to be desired. hence, cheryl to the rescue. except she's going for RI campfire and won't have time to help me.

tomorrow's the youth service youth thingy... hope basilia can wake up <-- she's always such a sleep head. :P and grace has better not be late...

CO had their SYF today... wonder if they'll get the gold?

well, nette told me that she wants to know more details about my life or anything interesting. well, i'm stressed. of course everyone is. but i have lots of people that are placing lots of pressure on me, intentionally or not. and the pressure to do well in certain subjects is killing me. trust me. slowly but surely. i'm going to slack for tomorrow's guides i think. coz i seriously dun think i wan to kill myself. nette... enuf info for you? :P well, i'll write more tml.

i think i'm starting to crack up under the strain of the tests. day in, day out. and i know i'm not the only one. hmm, rather old news this, but i got quite high for my eng compo mock. 33/40... and i was pretty surprised, come to think of it, i was shocked. after all, ms heng never gave me more than 28? i think that was the highest. so anyway, i'm going to type my essay here... just in case i lose the bloody thing. the title's water, i have to write an essay on water. after this, i'm going to write an essay about fire... when i'm free that is. pardon any mistakes in spelling or grammer... me is going to type quickly.

water

water. the source of life, the very thing that sustains the human body. no one really knows and understands the need for that percious substance until it is denied from us. the teenager sitting close to the wall in the corner of the darkened room was beginning to understand water's significance.

he could not move. frost lay there, near the air vent, his arms and legs bound together, tied to a water pipe. his thirst beginning to grow, he stifled a groan. he could not see, it had taken his eyes a while to get used to the darkness of the room in which he was imprisoned. frost looked around and gave a hollowed laugh that echoed arounf the entire room. no surprise there, as the room was a bathroom and extremely small and cramped. he felt rather claustrophobic.

he tried wetting his lips but his mouth was too dry. the "drip drip" of the water coming out of the tap that had not been closed properly made his predicument all the more unbearable. his hands strained forward, trying unsuccessfully to get a drop of the water. of course it was impossible, he was too far away.

footsteps echoed in the hallway, soft, but deadly. they stopped outside the door. keys jangled. there was a click, and the door swung open, revealing the beady eyes of frost's boss. the light was oin, and the boy blinked in the suddeness of being able to see again. for a few minutes, all was silent, only the thumping of frost's heart could be heard. then, the boss spoke.

"this is all your fault, you know. you only have yourself to blame. i warned you, boy. i did. curiousity kills the cat, and that is exactly what will happen to you. meddling in my affairs, for what? trying to prove something? fat chance!" the tirade went on. his boss grew hysterical, his voice reaching a feverish pitch. it seemed as though he was coming apart at the seams, unable to deal with the situation.

"i promise... i'll never tell!" frost croaked out, hours without food and water taking a toll. if only he had not been so curious, he would be safe home by now.

the boss's eyes glinted with insanity and suddenly, like a veil covering his innermost thoughts, his eyes glazed over, as though looking at frost but not seeing him.

"no, you will tell. and you'll take the secret to your grave. i have worked too hard to get to where i am today and no one is going to take away what i have. i'll leave you here, until...," his voice trailed off. he turned away from frost, then giving one last look, repeated, "i'll leave you here, until you die of thirst."

the boy knew that he would never see daylight again. his throat was burning up, it would not be long. he smiled, resigned to his fate, at least the torture would be over soon.

"i thought things like that only occured in movies," he sighed. his boss was a well-respected man, no one would accuse him of kidnapping and ultimately, murder. no one would suspect corruption. the boy knew, things were never black and while, there was an underlying layer of grey in everything.

the thirst never slackened, every minute, pure agony. he gazed in dispair at the puddle of water near him. if it had been closer, he would have discarded his dignity and lapped at the puddle like a dog. his hands clawed the walls, and he fought off wave after wave of thirst. he never knew thirst could kill.

after a few hours, his eyes lost its focus. the word "water" clung to his brain like a mantra, going around and around until he lost it. a scream tore from his throat, despair quaking in his voice. whatever ray of hope he had left vanished. his mind only focusing on the need for water. his head spinning, frost lost consciousness. he awoke only the next day. his stomach runbling, demanding food, and his throat throbbed in pain, requesting life preserving water

as frost lost track of time, he lost all logic and rationality. the thirst burned deep within him, threatening to eat hime alive. his lips moved, mouthing the word "water". it was torture he had never known before, maybe it was penance for all the illegal things he had done. he prayed, sending a prayer to any entity that would spare him from the torment. slumped beside the bathtub in the toilet, he had long lost the will to live.

in his hazy state of mind, he did not notice the door opening, a "tsk tsk, he's still alive, better hasten his death,'' and footsteps going closer to him. the sound of rushing water, or was it his imagination, filled frost's mind. he was lifted, barely a shadow of the strapping teenager he had once been. his last thoughts as his face rushed towards the bathtub filled to the brim with water was, "salvation".

-end-

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

and life is complete.

argh! chem sucks so bad!!! i mean, can someone explain to me what the hell is macromolecules? what the hell are they???? i am more confused after reading the textbook. and to top it off, i still have to come home tomorrow from piano and study for it before 10(which is when i am forced to go to sleep), and do the english homework! no time! no time! and i never really practiced my piano since i've been studying for so many tests! argh! argh! <-- first sign of cracking up.

the greatest gift one can give
is your heart
is your love
is your touch
yet it sometimes
seems too much to ask
too much to give

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures, He Leads beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul, He guides me in the path of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you
are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the
days of my life, and I will dwell in the house
of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

Due to my extreme wu liao-ness and rather perverted nature... as well as the fact that i'm merely bored and could use a laugh... i've found a list that is hmm... rather, (how shall i put this) just plain dirty. of course, i'm not that to go and really find all the quotes. so i've found that from a webpage. i'll put the easier to get ones here. so it's up to you if you want to dirty your brain a little more. quite freaky really.

all quotes come fron harry potter and the order of the pheonix. the page numbers to the quote is found in the brackets.

"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering trough various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his wand hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent." (10)

"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed. (14)


"Ah well...wand still in your jeans?" (53)

"There was a groan of bedsprings, and Harry's mattress descended a few inches as George sat down near his feet.
"So, got there yet?" said George eagerly. (100)

"Quite astonishing, the way you contrive to wriggle out of very tight holes." (154)

...and Fred, George, and Ginny were doing a kind of war dance to a chant that went "He got off, he got off, he got off...." (156)

"He's having a go at my mother!" Seamus yelled. (218)

"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this." (343)

"I thought not," said Snape, watching him closely. "You let me get in too far. You lost control." (535)

"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break," said George.
"What do you mean, 'tried'?" said Ron quickly. (627)

-_-;;; ok, dun come running to me asking me about the "wand" bit thingy. if u think a little more into it... you'll get it. there are lots of references to it. so er. go ahead and find them all! @_@

if your name starts with C,
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

hmm... really? sounds rather true. i would believe it if it weren't for the fact that other people's names that start with other letters dun coincide with their personalities.

People born in august
Loves to joke
Attractive
Suave and caring
Brave and fearless
Firm and has leadership qualities
Knows how to console others
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Thirsty for praises
Extraordinary spirit
Easily angered
Angry when provoked
Easily jealous
Observant
Careful and cautious
Thinks quickly
Independent thoughts
Loves to lead and to be led
Loves to dream
Talented in the arts, music and defence
Sensitive but not petty
Poor resistance against illnesses
Learns to relax
Hasty and rushy
Romantic
Loving and caring
Loves to make friends

well, most of it is true... yet... not petty huh... have my doubts about that. BE LED??? eh, maybe by my bf? (if i had one that is, and well, you've got to see the situation eh) *winks* and oh hell... i love it!!! everything's really kinda true...

You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

First day in school.

A 20 minute ride from home,
Still to my school but everything’s changed.
I would be in a whole different section,
A whole new world.
Queasiness invades, again and again,
Nothing to lose, so much to gain.
If only I can quell my fear,
To gain the knowledge I sought so dear.
No longer the predator,
But the prey.

Entering the school,
So lost, so alone.
To the hall my shaky legs proceed,
How? My mind screams. Why?
A sea of faces greet me,
So different, yet so alike.
No matter how much they claim not to be,
Each one of them share a twinge of fear.
It shows so obvious on some faces,
Though hidden deep inside some.
No longer the predator,
But the prey.

I spot a few of my friends,
Dread courses through as I wave to them.
All of them were in different classes,
Why couldn’t I have been in theirs?
There’s no one in mine
Whom I actually even like.
I sit down silently,
Staring glumly at the ceiling.
No longer the predator,
But the prey.

-Cheryl Ong 1D (23)

hmm... good? i thought it was rather good, ingenius really. especially, the last few lines of no longer the predator, but the prey. guess she meant that she was no longer at the top of the food chain in secondary school... but she was at primary 6.

Ron, turning to look at him curiously, jogged the side of the cauldron, splashing some of the liquid in it onto the floor.

"And now I´m just annoyed," said Draco. "Weasley, keep your oafish hands away from that potion. That´s my soul you´re messing about with, you know. It´s my life essence, it´s my being, it´s--"

"A fabulous new cleaning product!" announced Ron, looking down. Where the potion had fallen, it had eaten a hole right through the rug, and partway into the stone beneath. "I´ve never seen anything like it. It´s completely toxic."

They all stared curiously.

"I refuse to consider this as a reflection on my personality," said Draco, looked at the charred rug.

-chapter 3, Draco Sinister

"Then you'll know that I'm not lying when I tell that you look completely ridiculous," said Ron. "Leather trousers, Malfoy?"

"They are flame-retardant dragon hide and extremely useful," said Draco, aiming his nose into the air. "Besides, I look really hot in them."

"Nausea..." said Ron, weakly. "Building...inside me. Must...be sick in bucket."

"You have no taste," said Draco, to him, coldly, and turned to Harry. "You think I look hot, don't you?"

"There is absolutely no way for me to answer that that would not get at least one person angry at me," said Harry diplomatically.

Draco smiled smugly. "You fear your love for me," he said. "I understand."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I think I might need that bucket when you're done with it, Ron."

-chapter 4, Draco Sinister

stupid epebble is so slow. i knew that there were lots of drawbacks to this e learning thing! the school will hear about this! i'll do a massive complain thingy! or maybe not. so, not going to try to fight it out with the computer and bash it since it aint the computer's fault, but i am going to spend most of my time reading fanfics and blogging. does it seem like i've got nothing better to do than to spend all my fucking time trying to get epebble to load?